The Kumkuat Korner

So let me summarize these past TWO(? THREE???) weeks in a few sentences. My parents left then came back from their vacation in Paris, France! I heavily underestimated the amount of hair I'd bring back home from work I heavily underestimated the amount of hair I'd get up my nose....(YUCK!) I disabled my OkCupid account on the basis that I have to stop kidding myself on ever finding Mr. Delicious (a.k.a Mr. Right) on a dating website that most guys use to try to HOOK up... (bleh) I still don't know what I'll BE for Halloween!!!! Yup. Story of my life. Pretty awesome right? On the bright side, I am still awesome. And because I'm in good spirits, here's a picture of what I value the most above all of the things I possess.

There is seriously NO BODY here on Blogger. Every blog I check has gone MIA after 2012. Was it because they thought the Mayan Calendar was going to really prophesier the end of the world? Cause NEWS FLASH people!  It's 2014 already! And while the 2012 might have squashed those Bloggers like a tennis shoe on a cockroach, I  am very much a live and breathing and will continue to write. Because I miss it. This will be come my diary....   And no, by diary I don't mean like the Bridget Jones Diary from that one movie (or was it book first then movie?) with Rene Zellweller-something!   And not at all like the song Diary of Jane by Breaking Benjamin, although that's a pretty amazing song that make me go ape-shit and make me want to be even more rebellious and BAD ASS !  Now as I listen to this song and sing along, I wonder where the point I was about to make go. Oh well.  CARRY ON while I sing my lungs out!!!!

Sometimes, I don't want to be me.  There's nothing good about me. Really, there isn't. I imagine what it would be like in other people's shoes. Sometimes a rich person's expensive shoes.  Sometimes a person without shoes and with only the clothes on their back and a dog named Jelly Bean. Or a person with absolutely no obligations, nothing holding them back from doing anything or nothing at all. I wish I could be anyone. Anyone, but me. I space out, wish I didn't have big hips. big breast, belly rolls, and a flat ass.  Wish my I had a body that everybody wanted or a body that at least got noticed, but certainly not mine. In my head, I rip my soul out of my body and place it on someone beautiful or handsome or plain or ugly.  But I can't.  Because I'm not anybody.  I'm just me. So, I stick to what I have.  I flaunt the things I have plenty of. Wit, snide, intuition, sarcasm, sass,  cleavage.  And shrug off the things that you p...