The Kumkuat Korner

So let me summarize these past TWO(? THREE???) weeks in a few sentences. My parents left then came back from their vacation in Paris, France! I heavily underestimated the amount of hair I'd bring back home from work I heavily underestimated the amount of hair I'd get up my nose....(YUCK!) I disabled my OkCupid account on the basis that I have to stop kidding myself on ever finding Mr. Delicious (a.k.a Mr. Right) on a dating website that most guys use to try to HOOK up... (bleh) I still don't know what I'll BE for Halloween!!!! Yup. Story of my life. Pretty awesome right? On the bright side, I am still awesome. And because I'm in good spirits, here's a picture of what I value the most above all of the things I possess.

Okay.   First of of all, the heading is CORRECT . On Wednesday September 10th of 2014 an idiot a mom of a middle school student was heading to her daughter's school to drop off a saxophone and as she neared the school, got distracted because she was running late for some meeting at her work.  WHILE driving, (around 25 miles per hour) she texted her work and BAMN .  Her truck slammed into a school pole (like the ones for handicap rails). The pole went through her truck, sliced into the back of her seat, and impaled her up her butt.  Umm.  Whut? Talk about freak accident. The woman is a live an well, just a bit sore all over her butt, not to mention she received over 40 stitches outside AND inside of her body. "I'm truly a miracle. They said if it gone just a little bit the other way I would have bled out," The woman said. This is exactly why  I don't text and drive.  Cause it can be a such a  pain...

There is seriously NO BODY here on Blogger. Every blog I check has gone MIA after 2012. Was it because they thought the Mayan Calendar was going to really prophesier the end of the world? Cause NEWS FLASH people!  It's 2014 already! And while the 2012 might have squashed those Bloggers like a tennis shoe on a cockroach, I  am very much a live and breathing and will continue to write. Because I miss it. This will be come my diary....   And no, by diary I don't mean like the Bridget Jones Diary from that one movie (or was it book first then movie?) with Rene Zellweller-something!   And not at all like the song Diary of Jane by Breaking Benjamin, although that's a pretty amazing song that make me go ape-shit and make me want to be even more rebellious and BAD ASS !  Now as I listen to this song and sing along, I wonder where the point I was about to make go. Oh well.  CARRY ON while I sing my lungs out!!!!

Sometimes, I don't want to be me.  There's nothing good about me. Really, there isn't. I imagine what it would be like in other people's shoes. Sometimes a rich person's expensive shoes.  Sometimes a person without shoes and with only the clothes on their back and a dog named Jelly Bean. Or a person with absolutely no obligations, nothing holding them back from doing anything or nothing at all. I wish I could be anyone. Anyone, but me. I space out, wish I didn't have big hips. big breast, belly rolls, and a flat ass.  Wish my I had a body that everybody wanted or a body that at least got noticed, but certainly not mine. In my head, I rip my soul out of my body and place it on someone beautiful or handsome or plain or ugly.  But I can't.  Because I'm not anybody.  I'm just me. So, I stick to what I have.  I flaunt the things I have plenty of. Wit, snide, intuition, sarcasm, sass,  cleavage.  And shrug off the things that you p...